church? really?

ok so this was written last week. deal with it.

so im going to that michigan conference thing this week. whoa. i definitely thought it was in like two or three weeks. but no. its this wednesday and thursday. and cliff and brent are both going… neither of which ive seen much since christmas. this could be interesting. i hope things are as ok as they can be, because then they'll be really fun. and the conference is all about worship through the arts (major ones- drama, music, media…) so if i actually get this internship then i'll be all fresh and ready to try things from this week while im there. watch out indianapolis. yeah. this summer will be interesting because i've already made a huge switch over the last year from being all about theatre as a solid ministry, to hating the idea of theatre in a church. basically to not being big on the idea of church in general- not the true meaning of it, but just what it has come to represent. these megachurches in suburbia where people can get their weekly god-fill and their daily starbucks-modern-architecture fill all in one fun filled morning or afternoon, depending on which of the eight services they go to. but oh yeah. i go to a church that is quickly becoming that. and people are being changed. i think. the lord is moving. i think. kids are learning how to make right decisions. i think. i know that im making huge judgment calls… but i guess i just want to explore both extremes before i settle somewhere in the informed middle? thats why i want this internship. to see if these megachurch/nondenominational-is-the-only-way-to-be/casual-but-in-style/mochachino-bookstore-candyland-for-children are really working. and how they do it if they do work. this might be just the thing to reach our coffee and media saturated suburban america, and maybe the multitudes really are being saved. to each his own. play the hymns on the organ in the one room chapels for the old folk and bust out the amplifiers and powerpoints for the young folk who relate that way. i like music to be loud enough so that im not selfconscious about the volume of my singing. i think i maybe feel guilty for liking parts of modern megachurch? why? i have no idea. maybe i feel like the money should be spent on other things… but then how do you justify saving all the homeless if all the upper-middle class people are oblivious and going to hell? ok, so have the crazy committed people live in communities of service together to help the people who need it and leave the megachurches to reach suburbia? who knows. this is what i want to find out. and theatre? well i think for now i'll just keep doing shows like moonlight and valentino and jake and jenny that at least catch people with their defenses down and make them think. theatre that changes the soul?