learning...learning...learned.....learning...learning...

so i've learned a lot. i always seem to, but it's not me- it's totally god. as mr. ferraro says, "life is a series of problems. you're either just recovering from one, in the midst of one, or headed toward the next one." but as disheartening as that sounds, it's a reason for hope. life is like that for everyone, but those who have come to know christ as our best friend and the one who saves us don't have to worry about problems. i'm not saying problems won't happen- believe me they will- but they shouldn't make us worry. god is right at our side and tells us that he is working everything out for our good (if we love him). if that isn't uplifting, i don't know what is. and so if we're guaranteed to spend life going from one problem to another, we may as well learn from them and take something with us to help us handle the next, or help others as they go through something too. i feel like i could sit here forever and reflect on all the stuff that's been happening (good and bad) and that god would show me even more just by my writing it down. he just keeps reminding me how awesome he is, and that he wants me to share it all with him. wow. so anyway...

i got my scholarship. i've been praying nonstop for the last like three weeks just that everyone involved would look to god in deciding on these scholarships, and from there, if i was supposed to get one, that i would. and i did- 11 grand a year for four years. "god can do so much more than we could ever imagine or dream of..." and i got a tiny part in the high school musical...that was an interesting experience. but hey- back to prayer- i had been praying for god to help me with my problems with selfishness and pride...so he did. it's kind of hard to be selfish when you're watching other people rehearse the parts you would have liked...but it teaches you a thing or two about humility, andultimately it'll work out quite nicely. because then, god likes to say "come on- i love you so much, did you think i was finished?" this summerstock opportunity opens up at one of our community theatres (summer stock is basically a lot of theatre in a short amount of time), and it's with a professional company which means PAID POSITIONS! that's basically unheard of in pennsylvania unless you're in pittsburgh or philly. i would pretty much sing and dance my heart out for a month- performing a different show every week (8 showings a week from wed to sunday) and meanwhile be rehearsing for the next one. we will also be traveling to the other two theaters that are involved (one in the pocono's--i could take pictures and send them to dewey!!!-- and one outside of philly). housing is provided, all we would pay for is our food, and the salary for an ensemble member is $200-$250 a week. i would be the happiest person on the face of the earth. i just have to make sure that i would be back in time to go to anderson in august. i don't have all the details yet, but it would be amazing. auditions are this saturday (the 12th) so maybe you could holla up to jesus about that one for me- if it's his will, aww dude it would be unbelievable.
on a more serious note- i've given up something that was dragging me down. not going to go into detail, but there was something that i was trying to see through god's eyes, but was really seeing god through the eyes of how i wanted it to happen. and that doesn't work....and it was taking its toll. one of those times when you think you're right on track...but it still hurts so much! so you realize that you were totally missing the point because you thought you had it all under control....but that's just it- YOU thought YOU had it under control, when god's saying, "i love you and know what's best for you- let me show you how to do this and you will have a peace about it." so i did. and he did. i shed a few tears and told him i was serious this time- that i was done with letting it hold me back from all that god has waiting for me in this life. and even just driving home after the awesome service on sunday (in the glorious weather- i had my window down and my music blaring) i felt so free whenever i thought of the things that even that morning had made me feel like i would never find a way out. god is awesome. and i don't deserve the things he does for me because i've messed up so many times, and i know i'll mess up so many more times, but that's what the word GRACE is all about. he loves us more than our human minds can perceive....so much that if we mess up, he's waiting for us to say "god i did it again, i'm sorry..." and run to his open arms. yeah...that's the kind of god i serve.