i started college a hundred years ago.
i graduated high school a million years ago.
and i'm still not old enough to drink it away.
writing my nightmares like some sick punishment
cringing at the thoughts
some things have to keep coming back.
the god of everything still thinks i'm cool.
have you ever had those times where you seem to have no control over your mind? it goes wherever it wants and you can't shake it. maybe it's worse for actors... we train ourselves to feel more strongly, deeply, and memorably than those who have the privilege of forgetting their memories. we keep them to use later on... to help others or maybe to help ourselves... or maybe just to make a kickass character who really seems to feel. that's not why i have to write down the nightmares i've dreamt. but that's why i have to relive the nightmares i've lived through.
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Sometimes, it's nice to see that others are dealing with the same type of things. It's not just the actors. It's the writers inside of us who wish we could be actors. We mentally, emotionally, spiritually(?) assume the lives of the characters that we have come to love and cherish like they're our friends or even ourselves in another form. We embody all the love, hatred, confusion, and angst that comes from that love. We carry it around in our heads, whether in the foreground or the background of our minds, it's what makes us what we are and what we were at the same time. Perhaps it shouldn't be labeled either "the actor's lament" or "the writer's lament" but rather "the storyteller's lament."
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