way too little?

today i walked around campus for a while. we're back so early and hardly anyone else is here. i was walking back to my dorm and decided i wouldnt have another time like that for a while. so i walked around. and sat. and looked around. i marveled at the warm weather but shivered with every cool breeze. i thought way too little and giggled whenever i liked what i was barely thinking about. other times i wanted to sob and crumple to the cold ground until someone came to find me. i dont have a cell phone. i wasnt in my room at my computer with music on. i wasnt meeting anyone at anytime or planning to do something by a certain time. there was nothing to interrupt me. i just walked. and sat. if someone wanted to find me, they would have had to put in a lot of effort. i'm not just a phone call away. what will people do to find me if they want to? how bad do they want to find me? i guess i liked the thoughts because of the stereotypical (especially in girls) desire to be pursued... in any sense of the word. effort. thats what separates some people from others, or how they feel about them. how much effort are you putting in to know them. to find them. we all do it, and we all know it, but we play dumb when we're burned by it or when we know that we are burning other people. but no, that's not fun to think about. and come on. who thinks about things that arent fun to think about? not me. i just giggle.......................................