MAKE me lie down in green pastures

so i had planned to write a sort of "rebound" from the last one to convince myself and anyone else that i am doing much better. i dont know how much i'll stick to that but oh well. last weekend sucked. i was by myself a lot and not really in a good position for that, and i guess kinda focused too heavily and too far in advance on things that i didnt need to. but then monday night cleaned a lot of it up. we had the "labyrinth" here at school for spiritual emphasis week, and the actual setup was kinda corny but the idea was powerful and surpassed any misgivings i had walking in. it's a circular, maze-like pathway to walk, except that there is only one choice of paths to follow. walking in to the center is a "shedding" time where you just dump off to jesus all the junk that you're carrying around. then the center is a place to sit and have reflection and "illumination" from christ and just talk to him and let him talk to you. or just be and let him be. then the walk out is a time for "union" when you acknowledge what you have you have just done and process how to heal and stay strong. i went just for the heck of it, a good time with my maker who knows what i'm struggling with and loves me so much, and i walked away with a lightness of heart that i havent experienced for months. basically for me, the walk in centered on fear. the middle time consisted of kind of a running narrative in my head of us as sheep, dumb sheep, in life just here to do our thing while god as the true shepherd guides us along in the way that he knows is the best way... and just like a shepherd has to MAKE his sheep drink clean water and lay and rest in green pastures, god often makes us do what is best if we are open to his guidance. even if this makes no sense, it helped me to clearly see a situation, and what to do with it from the rut that i had fallen into. i had a solid picture of HOPE. HOPE in the midst of an area that i haven't felt anything but fear and pain and pure sickness to the stomach about for months. it was powerful. it allowed me to stand up taller. it allowed me to see things more clearly. and it allowed me to know that even when the sheep do really stupid things, god knows we're sheep and pulls us out of the thorny bushes without punishing us, knowing that the rips the thorns tore in our flesh are punishment enough, and leads us back to the stream and MAKES us lie down and drink. and rest. and he comforts us and makes sure we remember that he was always there, is there now, and always will be there... yeah. that's the god i serve.